Perhaps director Rian Johnson wasn't prepared for the amount of questions he'd get once he revealed the official title of Star Wars 8 is The Last Jedi. Speculation behind its meaning has been through the roof. And there are fan theories a plenty. To help add some fuel to the fire and also purely for a laugh, the filmmaker has shared a very strange, disturbing, kind of funny song about a cannibalistic bone-eating Jedi. The Last Jedi if you will. And it's surely not what anyone was expecting in terms of the next Star Wars: The Last Jedi tease.
This song comes from John Darnielle, of the band The Mountain Goats. The title of the song is pretty long and twisted. And perhaps it's a shout out to a character that will be introduced in The Last Jedi. But we doubt it. "The Ultimate Jedi Who Wastes All the Other Jedi and Eats Their Bones" is a pretty gruesome image. Is their really a bone-eating Jedi out there in the universe? Perhaps one that eventually turned to the Darth side and became a Sith Lord? Maybe the Knights of Ren eat human flesh?
The Hutts, of which Jabba is a member of the race, are known to eat their enemies, even if they are other Hutts. In the true Star Wars cinematic canon, Bossk, a Trandoshan bounty hunter, is the only known cannibal. He not only ate his siblings before they could hatch, he also ate his own father. So if there is a Trandoshan Jedi out there amongst the stars, we can bet he or she has dined on their own kind.
John Darnielle's song started as a joke, but Rian Johnson has now declared it an official piece of the Star Wars canon. That, too, is a joke. We hope. The term canon is one that gets thrown around pretty fast and loose these days, and soon, it seems, everything will be part of the official Star Wars canon. Says Johnson about the song on Twitter.
"So @mountain_goats and I were joking around, one thing led to another, he recorded this song and now it's canon."
The song itself is a warning sign to other Jedi. It asks the Jedi listener to do their best whether they must protect a city or swampland, bringing peace and honor over hate. But then it turns dark. And the Jedi is told of the one who awaits at the end of their journey. The one Jedi that will eat their bones.
"At the end of all your days, one Jedi waits for you/With the dust of Jedi bones piled high like parsnips on his plate. The long feast will be filmed for mass consumption. The cameras Rian's got these days are unimaginably high-res. All the Jedis from all the planets in this putrid universe get eaten by this last one and now it's your turn."
Ultimately, these lyrics point to the identity of the Last Jedi. He's the last Jedi because he's eaten all the others. As of now, according to The Force Awakens, Luke Skywalker is the Last Jedi. So, has Luke turned to the dark art of eating human flesh while exiled on Ahch-To? Is this the biggest spoiler in Star Wars 8? That would be a pretty interesting twist. Here's Rian Johnson's original tweet along with the song, so you know we're not making this up. More than likely, this is all just a joke in response to everyone freaking out about the title. Then again, maybe not. Perhaps we'll get to watch Luke Skywalker eat Rey and Kylo Ren?