It's been a while since we've seen a solo Superman movie hit theaters, and that's not going to change anytime soon, or so it seems. So fans of the Man of Steel are left to turn elsewhere. Today brings us a fascinating and hilarious alternative in the form of a script for a Superman movie, or a single page of one anyway, that was generated by an AI bot. The results are, to say the very least of it, stunning.
This comes from writer Keaton Patti, who forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Superman content. He then forced the AI bot to write a movie based on the iconic DC hero, utilizing what it learned. Patti then shared the resulting script page on Twitter. It has all of the right elements. Classic catchphrases, Lex Luthor, kryptonite. It's all there. Yet, the end result is hot nonsense that is barely comprehensible, yet undeniably funny.
The tale starts out with our hero flying "on the sky" with citizens down below trying to figure out if it's a bird or a plane. Finally, a citizen decries "Enough lies. It is a Superman." We then learn that the hero wears an S on his chest because he loves the alphabet. We then find out what Supes has been up to.
"I just stopped a crime. Arsonist. Tried to burn down the river. I threw them into the sun's stomach."
This is then backed up by revealing the sun is "one criminal bigger than normal" before a citizen announces that he owes Superman bird seed. Then Lex Luthor, whose "business is killing Superman" arrives wearing a suit made of kryptonite. Our hero dislikes this because it "kills him with pain." Superman then shouts "kryptonite is my kryptonite" before kindly requesting that Lex wear something else. Superman then "talks to steel" because he is the Man of Steel and drops a building on Lex, which apparently houses the stock market. That distracts the villain long enough for Superman to jump into a phone booth to change into Clark Kent, who emerges to deliver the ultimate punchline.
"I'm no Superman. I'm Journalismman."
Harrowing stuff. Keaton Patti previously did something similar with Batman, which turned out to be at least as entertaining. Patti, replying to his tweet, shared a side-by-side of Christopher Reeve as both Clark Kent and Superman before making the following observation.
"This might sound insane, but I'm just saying, I've never seen Superman and Journalismman in the same room together and they both love the alphabet, so maybe, just maybe, they're cousins or something?"
As far as Superman movies generated by humans, we're at something of a standstill. Henry Cavill's future as the hero is in doubt and the character hasn't had a solo movie since Man of Steel in 2013. When last we saw Cavill, it was in Justice League which, unfortunately, is most remembered in respect to Superman for the CGI used to get rid of the actor's mustache during reshoots. Be sure to check out the full script page from Keaton Patti's Twitter account.
I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Superman movies and then asked it to write a Superman movie of its own. Here is the first page. pic.twitter.com/3DCCa08qjE— Keaton Patti (@KeatonPatti) October 28, 2019
This might sound insane, but I'm just saying, I've never seen Superman and Journalismman in the same room together and they both love the alphabet, so maybe, just maybe, they're cousins or something? pic.twitter.com/Rzge3wbvnG— Keaton Patti (@KeatonPatti) October 28, 2019