Ted Lasso is a sports comedy-drama series developed by Jason Sudeikis, Bill Lawrence, Brendan Hunt, and Joe Kelly for AppleTV+. The series follows the titular Ted (Sudeikis), an American college football coach who is hired to lead an English soccer team. He tries to win over the team with his overly optimistic attitude, even though he is a bit of a fish out of water and not well acquainted with the sport.
Although folks like Jason Sudeikis and Bill Lawrence have said that Season 3 would be the end of the series, this still has yet to be confirmed by Apple. At the very least, some of its stars, including Brett Goldstein, will no longer be in attendance. The good news is that the entire series is now available for streaming, which means audiences are free to binge their favorite parts over and over again.
One of the biggest appeals of the show lies in Ted's quotes and the comedic delivery of his one-liners. And he's not alone. Here are the best quotes from the cast of Ted Lasso.
Updated June 2023: If you too are Richmond til you die, then you'll be happy to know that this article was updated by Amanda Minchin following the series finale.
17 “Coach, I got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.”
To say that Ted Lasso and Coach Beard are fish out of water on the AFC Richmond pitch is an understatement. This quote, a riff off The Wizard of Oz line, perfectly explains their readiness for the new task of coaching, not an American, but an English football team.
16 "I'm gonna put it the same way the US Supreme Court did back in 1964 when they defined pornography. It ain't easy to explain, but you know it when you see it."
Ted's understanding of football, especially at the beginning, is limited at best. His metaphor for what the term offside means, however, is somewhat on point. Luckily, he knows enough to surround himself with folks who know more about football than he does!
15 "I do love a locker room. It smells like potential..."
Are those notes of Axe body spray we smell? Or just a hit series? Ted Lasso's first introduction to the team was shaky at best. Most believed him to be nothing more than a stunt (and, to be fair, he initially was). But, even then, he was still ready and raring to get this new team fired up.
14 “If God would have wanted games to end in a tie, she wouldn’t have invented numbers.”
The key to the success of Ted's character is his comical optimism. This quote sums up his over-the-top attitude and shows just how passionate he is for his team to win. Back where he's from, to end a game in a tie is a sure sign of the apocalypse. There's a certain charm to it that illustrates how he was able to win over his team and, for that matter, the audience as well.
13 "Football is life!"
Dani Rojas is a member of AFC Richmond. He is beyond cheerful and always excited. As his mother used to say, he's the type of person who was born caffeinated. Dani, however, is somewhat aware of just how intense his enthusiasm can be and often explains it away with this quote, which perfectly for sums up both his character and the intense following that is football fandom.
12 “Old people are so wise. They’re like tall Yodas.”
Fortunately, Ted doesn't always steal the funny lines in the show. This line is spoken by Jamie Tartt, who has a kind of immature, childlike quality. His lines are accidentally comical in a way that allows audiences to see past his tough exterior and warm up to him.
11 “If the Internet has taught us anything, it’s that sometimes it’s easier to speak our minds anonymously.”
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Ted Lasso should know. After all, what he doesn't know about football could easily make up two whole internets (his words, not ours). This quote sums up the humorous tone of the series, where ridiculous lines are spoken in a serious way by over-the-top characters.
10 “You know Rupert, guys have underestimated my entire life. And for years I never understood why. It used to really bother me. But then one day I was driving my little boy to school and I saw this quote from Walt Whitman painted on the wall there that said "Be curious. Not judgmental.”
This Ted Lasso quote, which is misattributed to Walt Whitman, is spoken after Rebecca’s ex-husband Rupert works his way into the owner’s box. At the local pub after, Ted fools Rupert into a game of darts, making him think that he has never played before. Lasso then says this word for word as he slowly and decisively beats the former owner, winning their wager. The bar where he does this is home to many of his pep talks, which are done alongside a hilarious host of regulars.
9 “I think that you might be so sure that you’re one in a million, that sometimes you forget that out there you’re just one in 11.”
Ted says this line near the end of Season 2 of Ted Lasso. He still doesn’t know much about soccer and is trying to learn the ropes of the game. He remains optimistic even though he is pretty much clueless on the topic. Still, he’s able to utilize his people and management skills to rally the team together. In this scene, he breaks through to Jamie so that the team can finally move forward, which becomes pivotal for the team's future success.
8 “I believe in communism. Rom-communism, that is.”
An eternal optimist at heart, it's no wonder that romantic comedies are up Ted's alley. This analogy is used throughout Season 2 of the series, culminating in Roy Kent's running to the airport sprint back to the Richmond Pitch to take on the role of Coach... complete with soaring music and a witty repartee from Kent to boot. You had us at Coach.
7 "You are more mysterious than David Blaine reading a Sue Grafton novel at Area 51."
Dr. Sharon Fieldstone is introduced in Season 2 and becomes a large part of helping Ted and his players in their mental health journeys. Helping him to work through the cause of his panic attacks and figure out how to manage them was no easy task. Like many, Ted was hesitant to believe she could help. But, like she said, she's just as good at her job as he is at his... if not better.
6 "This woman is strong, confident, and powerful. Boss, I tell you, I'd hate to see you and Michelle Obama arm wrestle, but I wouldn't be able take my eyes off of it, either."
The women in this show are seriously top-notch. Hannah Waddingham, who plays the new owner of the team following a contentious divorce, received her first Emmy Award for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series for her work. Her character, Rebecca, is fierce, and despite her ill intentions at the start, quickly becomes a standout throughout the course of the series.
5 "You helped this panda become a lion."
Equally talented, though perhaps underrated is Keeley Jones, Rebecca's former work compatriot turned corporate juggernaut. A business person for a new era, Keeley might appear grating at first, but her rise from girlfriend to the player to Boss Babe is enviable, to say the least. Her off-kilter giddiness is displayed in this quote, a callback from Season 1, when she asks Ted, Rebecca, and Jamie if they'd rather be a lion or a panda with hilarious results. This culminates at the end of Season Two when she decides to quit the club to pursue her own career.
4 “Boy, I love meeting people’s moms. It’s like reading an instruction manual as to why they’re nuts.”
This Ted Lasso quote makes you laugh out loud with how inherently true it is. This great observation about characters on the show is one that can also be applied to a lot of people in the real world, which makes the line all the better.
3 “You know what the happiest animal on Earth is? It’s a goldfish. You know why? It’s got a 10-second memory. Be a goldfish, Sam.”
This Ted Lasso quote is also a good piece of advice to take forward in life. The line is spoken when Richmond is facing wins as well as defeats. Ted Lasso uses it to remind Sam to focus on the game, and not the opinions of those around him. Some truly solid advice!
2 "I want you to be grateful that you're going through this sad moment with all these other folks. Because I promise you, there is something worse out there than being sad, and that is being alone and being sad. Ain't nobody in this room alone."
The goldfish analogy is used again towards the end of Season 1 to honor the team's sacrifices after a historic loss. While a comedy, Ted Lasso is also chock-full of heartwarming quotes all about dealing with the ups and downs of life. While seasoned sports-movie fans probably expected a different outcome at the end of Season 1, they were met instead with this speech. Not ending the first season on a high note was a dicey move, but one that inevitably paid off.
1 "...I believe in hope. I believe in belief."
In his very first days at AFC Richmond, Ted Lasso hangs a sign above his door. On it is one word: Believe. From that moment, the sign and its meaning become influential throughout the course of the series. From its reuniting of the team, to its destruction, to its internal acceptance, it is the one indelible phrase that continues throughout the course of the series. At the end of the day, it is far more than a sign. While there are several quotes about belief throughout Ted Lasso that speak to this, this one always strikes home.