To be completely honest, I always find myself firmly in the grip of that terrible monster known as jealousy right around this time of year—it’s a condition that’s wholly the sad result of my utter and complete addiction to those ten best slash ten worst lists so busily filling the highways and byways of the media of our New Year. If you’re wondering why I just don’t assuage the aforementioned envy-fit by crafting lists of my own and posting them in this very spot, well it’s because like my slacker brethren from High Fidelity I can never really bring myself to list more than five of anything in public. I don’t know why that is precisely, but it’s just the case—and so, before I move on to today’s news here goes with PART ONE:

The Five Best DVD News Bits Of 2004

# 5

Just in time to cash in on the remake being presided over by the hobbit-prince better known as Peter Jackson we'll all get King Kong: The Collector's Edition...

# 4

Because the pleasures of watching a little man in a big rubber-suit squish itsi bitsi model tanks simply can’t be underestimated the world will soon be treated to Godzilla: The Original Uncut Japanese Version...

# 3

No doubt as a result of a near unprecedented outbreak of sanity, Warner Bros will finally be appeasing film fans world-wide (or at least here in region one) with a Heat: Special Edition....

# 2

Surely because that sanity bled over into Warner’s TV on DVD dept a tad fan boys will soon be able to stop scouring comicon tables for The Flash: The Complete Series...

# 1

And finally, because it is about damn time, I will at long last be able to add Blade Runner: The Director's Cut - Special Edition to my erstwhile Disc collection in matter of months!

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Batman and Robin: The Serial Collection

As for today’s news—Columbia Tristar has officially set an awfully coincidental March 22nd street date for it’s “set to include all fifteen action-packed episodes of one of those thrilling adventure serials from yesteryear” Batman and Robin: The Serial Collection The only extras will be a spate of preview trailers and the two-disc set will be priced to own at something around $29.99.

Meanwhile, the folks over at SpikeTV will be releasing comic book legend Stan Lee and celebrity-sex-tape “legend” Pamela Anderson’s animated love-child as Stripperella: Season One - Uncensored this February 22nd. The two-disc set will of course include all 13 first season episodes presented in their original 1.33:1 full screen with English Dolby Digital 2.0 audio tracks. Expect it to arrive without extras but with a price tag of $26.99.

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Lastly, New Line Home Entertainment has announced that “director” Brett Ratner’s surprisingly limp-lame excuse to get the exquisite Salma Hayek to wander about in his presence in succession of bikini’s -- After the Sunset will be available be hitting Best Buy shelves everywhere on March 29th in separate anamorphic widescreen and full screen editions—with English Dolby Digital 5.1 and Stereo Surround irregardless. Disc extras will reportedly include an commentary from Ratner, a “Before, During and After the Sunset” documentary, deleted and alternate scenes with optional director’s commentary, an “Interview with a Jewel Thief” featurette, a blooper reel, a music video and finally (for reasons so completely beyond me I can’t even begin to imagine them) a Script to Screen DVD-ROM feature. It’s retail price will reportedly be set at around $27.99.

- By Dirk Archer