It’s an interesting experience when one day you awake and realize that your very own life has been a movie. You realize that all the times that you walked (well, crushed, to be specific) into that door, you were merely paying a homage to the old black and white comedies of yesterday. When there was shooting outside your window, and a man armed with stunning Kung Fu crushing through it, it’s merely a reminder of the splendor (and high box-office power) of action flicks. When you hear violins play every time you come across a man, any man, it’s a romantic movie in disguise.

Well, dear readers, I’ve had such an experience. And now I am most happy to announce that, well, the papers are signed for my release from the institution. Yes, THAT institution.

But now to business…

There is no business like show business, says the famed song – but I’ve been away from MovieWeb for what seems to be the duration of INSERT NAME OF OVERSTAYING ACTOR HERE’s career. As the site’s redesign has been progressing, the Movie Guru has been putting all energy into developing a super-secret film device that puts anyone who watches it under her control. But now that I’ve told you… I suggest you don’t start your car engine too quickly.

But now the Movie Guru is back with a brand new décor and content. In the next little while you can expect to see more columns dealing with your (yes, YOUR) questions about films, movie/DVD reviews and interviews from the industry’s brightest minds, and well, shiniest teeth.

Those of you planning on pursuing a career in the industry (you poor souls), will want to keep a watchful eye for a special series of interviews with behind-the-scenes industry experts including big-time producers, storyboard artists, cinematographers and more.

And as always, all your movie-related questions are welcome at: [email protected] -- Upon retrieval of your email from the world-wide-web-of-mystery I will sit down with the MovieGuruCrystalBall TM and let the spirits guide me in answering YOUR film-related questions in future columns.

Enjoy your stay…

Katherine “The Movie Guru” Brodsky