The sheriff's department speaks out on their upcoming film
Few times, we get the chance to speak to some of the best and brightest law enforcement in the country. That's unfortunately not the case with the Reno Sheriff's department.
The eight break-out performers from that police force are taking their show on the road in a new documentary film, Reno 911!: Miami; they travel from Nevada to Florida for the Annual National Sheriff's Convention. When things go horribly wrong, the gang from The Biggest Little City are put in charge and must save the day.
Movieweb.com had the opportunity to talk to those officers in a press conference; here's part one of what they had to say:
WARNING: VERY GRAPHIC LANGUAGE AND CONTENT AHEAD!
Lt. Jim Dangle: First, I would like to say before we get going, we feel like we have been grossly misrepresented by the Fox people. We're not robots. We're not perfect robots made of wires and chips. We have foibles and we feel like we've been misrepresented. There's a lot of times a solid - a solid 30% of the time - we're giving 110%. So the thing about that...
Deputy S. Jones: It's about 34%.
Lt. Jim Dangle: 33 or 34% of the time. You're not seeing that. What you're seeing is boogery, incompetence, and the times that we actually have to blow something up. That's what you're seeing. We don't get a say in the editing. What they do is they take all the footage, they hand it over to Danny DeVito. He's drunk on Limoncello and then he cobbles it together into a menagerie of lies. And I know that menagerie was not the word I was looking for there but I'm going to just stick with it.
Deputy Travis Junior: Cornucopia was a good word.
Deputy S. Jones: Cobble was good too. I like cobble.
Lt. Jim Dangle: So let's open it up.
What did you think of the Miami Police Department and what was your impression of Miami when you were there?
Deputy Raineesha Williams: Well if you saw the movie, then you know we didn't even get to see the Miami Police Department because they were quarantined, smarty pants!
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: I think he's on our side.
Deputy Travis Junior: I'm sure they're all fine men and women that do the same type job that we do albeit easier. Reno's a hell town and they live in a paradise so how angry can people be there. Not as angry as in Reno, but I'm sure they're fine men and women.
Deputy Cherisa Kimball: I do have to say I saw photographs of several Miami law enforcement officials and I was - disillusioned is probably a strong word - but they did not have pastel blazers, they did not wear muscle tees, and I didn't know what to make of that.
Lt. Jim Dangle: Where were you hanging out 'cause where I was hanging out there was a lot of pastel blazers and muscle tees. I was at a place called 12 St. Beach. Have you been there? Cappy, have you been there? It's wonderful.
Deputy Cherisa Kimball: Cappy?
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: I was talking to Cappy.
Deputy Cherisa Kimball: I see Cappy.
Is it a location that many of you would like to venture to again?
Deputy James Garcia: Oh, hell yeah!
Deputy Cherisa Kimball: We're not allowed to though, uh sir?
Deputy Travis Junior: They made it pretty clear they didn't want us back.
Lt. Jim Dangle: They would not like us back right away.
So then where will the next venture be?
Lt. Jim Dangle: Uh, we have been invited to go to Scotland Yard and I for one would love to see Scotland.
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: I'd like to see the yard. I don't even have my own yard in Reno.
Lt. Jim Dangle: Yeah, apparently it's the largest yard they have. I look forward to wearing a kilt. I look forward to the giant log toss that they do. The gentlemen in Scotland - if you don't know because you're not cultured - wear skirts and they get together and have contests where they toss each other's logs and I look forward to that.
Deputy Travis Junior: I will not eat anything stuffed into an intestine though...no matter what they call it.
Deputy Clementine Johnson: And you can't take the bus there.
Deputy Raineesha Williams: I don't know if -
Deputy Clementine Johnson: We cannot take a bus to Scotland so we have to fly. That's what I'm looking forward to.
Deputy Raineesha Williams: I don't know if I'm really excited about any of it because I'm used to the criminals that I'm used to where I'm from and in Miami, baby, these people are... they're bronzed...
Deputy Jim Dangle: Slippery.
Deputy Raineesha Williams: They're lubed up.
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Hairless.
Deputy Raineesha Williams: They smell of cocoanut oil. I mean they're slippery and it's hard to, you know, arrest them let alone you wanna give all of them your phone number.
Lt. Jim Dangle: But it is fun to try to arrest them.
Deputy James Garcia: Always screaming 'amnesty, amnesty.' What the hell is that?
Ms. Johnson, did you have your tattoo removed?
Deputy Clementine Johnson: See now, someone's going to pout. Yes, I did. Yes, I did and it has no bearing on my feelings for James. It's just that that's a commitment I don't want to make. My body is a museum or a wall of graffiti and don't get a hasty...
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: It's also full of crabs and STD's.
Lt. Jim Dangle: It's like a Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum.
Deputy Clementine Johnson: It is.
Lt. Jim Dangle: Am I out of line saying that? I meant that in a positive way.
Deputy Clementine Johnson: No, you're very much in line but listen, I'm sagging a little more than I was a year ago when I got the tattoos so James will start to look like a Bassett hound.
Deputy Travis Junior: Notice she kept her Steely Dan tattoo.
Deputy Clementine Johnson: I kept my Steely Dan tattoo and I don't mean to apologize to you.
Deputy James Garcia: Alright, that's fine, honey.
Deputy Cherisa Kimball: And you don't want to take your work home with you too. I mean every time you -
Lt. Jim Dangle: We don't want to take our work to work.
You guys claim that you're not the smartest people in the world but how did you guys become cops?
Lt. Jim Dangle: You know, a lot of us end up in law enforcement sort of when life has painted you into a corner. I know for me when they took away my real estate license is when I really decided it was really time to make a difference.
Deputy Cherisa Kimball: That's a wake-up call right there.
Lt. Jim Dangle: Yeah.
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: I started in yogurt sales and I was there for about 45 minutes before they asked me to leave.
Lt. Jim Dangle: Trudi's mother was also apparently her first cousin we've just found out.
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Third. Third cousin which makes family reunions a lot simpler.
Lt. Jim Dangle: Shorter.
What was your favorite flavor of yogurt?
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Oh, I wasn't there long enough to try the yogurts, sweetie. I took a piece of body hair and I won't say from where and I put it in one of the cones and I played a game there called 'find the hair' and I was trying to do a promotional thing for the owner of the place. They didn't appreciate it. And whoever finds the hairs gets...
Officer Kimble, the documentary seems to raise some questions about your sexuality.
Deputy Cherisa Kimball: Look, I enjoy a good game of V ball with my lady friends, okay, and I can Oprah and Gayle it up as much as I want to, okay? That doesn't mean I'm hopping and skipping and jumping and having panty games and pillow fights and whatever those women do. I enjoy getting physical with my sisters anyd my lady friends.
Deputy Travis Junior: She sometimes enjoys filming it for her My Space page.
Lt. Jim Dangle: For My Space, page two, yeah.
Deputy Cherisa Kimball: That page was deleted and I did not put that page up. There was somebody going around claiming that she was me and you know that hurts.
Lt. Jim Dangle: Really? She had a lot of access to the stuff in your house.
Deputy S. Jones: I now have that footage on my My Space.
Lt. Jim Dangle: Oh?
Deputy S. Jones: I have that, Kimball's footage - Cinephallus.com. From my My Space. So I have Kimball on mine.
Lieutenant Jim Dangle: Cinephallus which means someone who enjoys cinema.
Your movie is being released by the same studio that released Borat; do you feel any pressure to live up to those box office expectations?
Lt. Jim Dangle: Do we feel pressure? Did that do well?
Deputy Travis Junior: I think if we did we would have brought a bag of sh*t here.
Deputy Cherisa Kimball: It did really well for that country, wherever he was from. I think that was the only film they ever put out.
Lt. Jim Dangle: We're under constant pressure; I mean what you call box office pressure, b.o. pressure, we have tons of pressure. We're in a constant state. Our adrenaline's up. When you're facing death every 45 seconds, you know your adrenaline's up and you basically are constantly working with an erection of terror which leads to a lot of the goofs and things that you see happen, you know.
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Plus I take a handful of Prozac first thing in the morning and in the afternoon I couple it with some a couple licks of Pro and I throw in a Depakote or two so my level of adrenaline is always on 10. You let me actually get that all the way out.
Lt. Jim Dangle: Yeah, I know, I thought it was going to get worse and you were going to start to talk about Mr. Marzipan who lives in your mouth.
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: No.
Lt. Jim Dangle: Ok.
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: He's actually a bird and he lives in my ear.
Reno 911!: Miami opens up in theaters February 23rd. Check back throughout the week for the rest of the press conference.