The sheriff's department speaks out on their upcoming film

The eight break-out performers from the Reno police force are taking their show on the road in a new documentary film, Reno 911!: Miami; they travel from Nevada to Florida for the Annual National Sheriff's Convention. When things go horribly wrong, the gang from The Biggest Little City are put in charge and must save the day.

Movieweb.com had the opportunity to talk to those officers in a press conference; here's part three of what they had to say:

Related: Thomas Lennon on Sequels to the Reno 911! and Night at the Museum Movies

WARNING: VERY GRAPHIC LANGUAGE AND CONTENT AHEAD!

When you guys went to Miami, who was watching the Reno area because you pretty much run the Sheriffs department so who was left?

Deputy Travis Junior: Oh f*ck, you're right!

Lt. Jim Dangle: Oh that explains what happened.

Deputy Travis Junior: Oh wow. Few people realize, believe it or not, we're the best eight officers of the Reno Sheriffs department.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Oh there's not only eight. There's way more of us back there.

Deputy Travis Junior: We're the most they say 'camera ready.'

Lt. Jim Dangle: Yeah.

Deputy Travis Junior: So you can imagine them other retards we work with. Phew!

Lt. Jim Dangle: We're the cosmopolitan ones.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: And legally I'm supposed to wear a helmet.

Lt. Jim Dangle: No joke; she's supposed to wear a f*cking helmet. She doesn't do it.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: I'd look like a retard.

What do you think of Cops?

Lt. Jim Dangle: That show is a bunch of crap.

Lt. Raineesha Williams: Crap, crap.

Lt. Jim Dangle: If you watch Cops and if you watch CSI and CSI: Miami and CSI New York, you would think that you go out, you get clues and then you catch who did it.

Deputy Travis Junior: Bullsh*t.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Bullsh*t.

Deputy Travis Junior: That ain't reality.

Lt. Jim Dangle: If you commit a murder in America, 50/50 chance we won't even find out about it. Check your facts. It's true.

Are you still willing to leave the Reno Sheriff's department for another department?

Lt. Jim Dangle: Here's what happened. I went briefly. I was at the Aspen Sheriff's department briefly and you know they have kind of a strict policy on what they would consider homosexual sort of pranks. Is that fair to say? I can feel you eyeballing me right next to me.

Deputy Travis Junior: Well I know that they have a couple openly gay sheriffs there.

Lt. Jim Dangle: They do. They do. Okay, here's what happened.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Well the mayor's gay too.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Not everybody gets me. I thought at Aspen they do kind of group showering. I thought it was group showers. I should have known when I saw one shower head and one guy in the shower, hey maybe they shower solo. So I jumped in the shower with this fella, kind of a big fella, and I started singing 'The Rhythm is Gonna Getcha' and I was doing the thing like I was pinching him with lobster claws like I'm the rhythm, you know. Now you understand how that could be- - if you don't know me and I'm relatively nude and possibly have a ¾ semi on, and I'm doing "Rhythm is Gonna Getcha" with lobster pinchers, if you don't know me, you might think that I'm weird.

Deputy James Garcia: You probably should have sung.

Did you find it chilly in Aspen with your shorts on?

Lt. Jim Dangle: I find it chilly everywhere; that's why I wear control top pantyhose or spanks sometimes. They also fix some of my problem areas.

How about the perks of making a movie? Unlike regular police work, there are trailers, there's craft services, were you impressed by all of that?

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: We didn't get that.

Deputy Travis Junior: We didn't have that.

Deputy S. Jones: Where was crafty when we were doing this thing.

Deputy James Garcia: We didn't even get free board.

Deputy Clementine Johnson: I'm trying to figure out what a goody bag is. I know what I call a goody bag and I have not seen a good goody back.

Was it intrusive having cameras following you around while you're trying to do your civic duty?

Lt. Jim Dangle: Oh my G-d.

Deputy Raineesha Williams: I was saying, sir, if a camera was following you around all day every day, do you know what kind of stuff we would catch you doing? How many times we would see you in a candy thong? C'mon now.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Sooner or later, you and all of your friends would be masturbating with the windows open. It happens. It happens every single day.

Lt. Trudy Wiegel: Sometimes several times a day. You know I'm actually kind of lucky because when we first got to Miami, I was driving the wrong way down a one-way street going like 40 and I hit this dog and thank G-d the cameras weren't there.

Where were the cameras most intrusive?

Deputy James Garcia: In the bathrooms.

Deputy Travis Junior: All the time. If the camera followed you 24/7, you wake up, you rub one out, you go to work, you make a deuce, you go back to work, and you go to bed, and if they cut out the part where you were at work, you'd look like a real heavy sh*ttin' horny retard.

Lt. Jim Dangle: See? Think about that.

Deputy Travis Junior: Think about that.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Think about that.

Deputy Travis Junior: We don't like the cameras being pointed this way. Try pointing 'em back at yourself.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Point them that way.

How long is Fox keeping you in Los Angeles? Will you be able to attend any Oscar functions over the next couple weeks?

Deputy Cherisa Kimball: I hope so. I've got a real cute pair of slacks that I purchased and a local merchant from back in Reno gave me some real cute jewelry. Junior and I were talking about this, it's actually edible. It's like candy jewelry, like the candy thong thing I wore. So I'm hoping I get a chance to sort of strut my stuff. I'm looking forward to that.

Is that because Ellen is hosting?

Deputy Cherisa Kimball: I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean by that.

Lt. Jim Dangle: It's a lesbian thing. - nevermind, next question.

Do you guys get down to Las Vegas much?

Deputy Travis Junior: Reno's a real nice town if you go down to Vegas. Real nice.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Real nice. We're also very, very convenient to San Francisco.

Deputy James Garcia: Yeah. We're right by Lake Tahoe. Gotta a lot of nature around there.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Oh yeah. Great stopping point by the way, you know, fill up for gas and then go somewhere else.

What do you guys in your spare time?

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: I make dried apple people; should I elaborate.?

Lt. Jim Dangle: No, no, they look like little zombies. They're horrible little apples that are all shriveled up and it looks like a zombie with googly eyes, it's horrible.

Deputy Cherisa Kimball: But to be fair, the one you made of Cheney, pretty accurate.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Pretty accurate.

Deputy Travis Junior: Pretty dead on.

Lt. Jim Dangle: I'm also involved in the Washoe County community theater. A lot of people saw me there last year as the Ghost of Christmas Future.

Deputy Travis Junior: I thought you understood it. I never thought...

Lt. Jim Dangle: Oh no, I went around twice. The Ghost of Christmas Future has no lines. He's the one who points at Scrooge's mossy grave. People thought it was very eerie when I did it.

So there was nothing else you learned about each other?

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Well, I'd say, you think my gas is bad when we're just in the station. Try riding on an econo route bus with me for five days.

Deputy James Garcia: It's like Nagasaki in there.

Deputy Travis Junior: I will say, if you ever travel cross country on a bus, they have these on/off passes that you get for an additional four dollars that allow you to get off the bus and then back on. Splurge.

Deputy Raineesha Williams: Yes!

Deputy Travis Junior: It's worth it, you know. You think about the four dollars, but then later on you wish you did it.

Lt. Jim Dangle: It's scary on a bus, those winos are jackin' off on Ripple. They'll pull your tooth out if you fall asleep long enough.

Deputy S. Jones: I learned that these individuals here, they're modern day heroes. Do you hear me? These people should be respected. I love these people, alright? These people'll take a bullet for me.

Deputy Raineesha Williams: Who?

Deputy S. Jones: That's what I learned. You guys, right?

Lt. Jim Dangle: Oh really?

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: No. I thought you were about to reveal some people behind the curtain.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Behind the curtain, yeah.

Deputy S. Jones: No, no, I was talking about you guys.

Deputy Clementine Johnson:

Deputy S. Jones: You would probably take it.

Deputy James Garcia: I defy any law agency in the country or the world to do what we did. To one moment be trying to control a chicken, a frightened chicken, and rescue it without hurtin' it, and the second moment be thrown into a whole new environment like Miami, not be invited into the convention, quarantine, we take over the city, we get the job done.

Deputy S. Jones: Not that many people died.

That's not true.

Deputy James Garcia: We made a few mistakes.

Lt. Jim Dangle: A handful at best.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: A handful of people died.

Lt. Jim Dangle: A handful.

Deputy Clementine Johnson: We weren't totally responsible for that.

Deputy S. Jones: How long were we there, three days?

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Yeah. I also killed a turtle but that was just for sport. It turns out there's a reason it's not a sport, because it's hard to do.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Oh dear!

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: It's very messy.

Lt. Jim Dangle: I said before we came in, don't volunteer information.

Can you give us a little background. Who started in the Reno Department first? Who's been there the longest?

Lt. Jim Dangle: Garcia's probably been there the longest, which is weird because he's never really been promoted. Do you know why that is?

Deputy James Garcia: Well, because I guess I'm not the right looking type of Latino. They seem to get an edge on those type of things - minority hirings and such - and I'm pretty comfortable where I am and I like what I do and I don't need to be all high fallutin and being the boss and driving a better car and get a better parking space than you. I'm a regular person and that's where I like to say. I don't have to go showing off.

Lt. Jim Dangle: You're also a pretty angry weirdo.

Deputy Travis Junior: And also you shoot about two kids a year.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Yeah. They frown on that sort of thing.

Do you think law enforcement might see a surge in recruitment after seeing this movie and watching you guys at work?

Deputy Cherisa Kimball: No.

Deputy Raineesha Williams: No, I hope not.

Deputy Travis Junior: If there's one thing I hope children take away from this movie, it's don't go into law enforcement.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Crime doesn't pay. Neither does law enforcement.

Deputy James Garcia: Join a carnival.

Deputy Raineesha Williams: Well, crime pays a lot better.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Well, no, crime doesn't pay better but you get to make your own hours at least.

Deputy Travis Junior: Technically, if you go to jail, you get dental and we don't get dental.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: They took away my dental plan halfway through a root canal.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Elaborate.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Again? You want me to elaborate?

Lt. Jim Dangle: Yeah.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Well, I can feel it coming.

Lt. Jim Dangle: No, I'm not going to hit you.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Uh huh. I'm sorry about that everybody.

Were there any repercussions for wrecking all those Miami police cars?

Deputy Travis Junior: Why are we on trial here.

Lt. Jim Dangle: It would look like that. If you look at everything you see with your eyes and what we say and do, yes, we look grossly incompetent.

Deputy Travis Junior: There were many cars we did not wreck.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Sir, there was a whole bunch...

Deputy Travis Junior: That didn't make the cut.

Deputy S. Jones: There are tons of CGI and blue screen pyrotechnics.

Deputy James Garcia: Yeah. That's green screen.

Lt. Jim Dangle: That might be a bit of a stretch.

Deputy S. Jones: Jar bait.

Lt. Jim Dangle: They didn't put Jar Jar in.

Deputy S. Jones: Jar Jar's in the movie.

Deputy James Garcia: You've got a cameraman in the back going, 'Drive faster, drive faster, take this turn, we need more action.' It's not our fault. We're being goaded into making mistakes.

Lt. Jim Dangle: It's Danny DeVito, he's drunk on Limoncello. You should be asking him these questions.

Reno 911!: Miami hits theaters February 23rd; follow the rest of the press conference right here on Movieweb.