The sheriff's department speaks out on their upcoming film

The eight break-out performers from the Reno police force are taking their show on the road in a new documentary film, Reno 911!: Miami; they travel from Nevada to Florida for the Annual National Sheriff's Convention. When things go horribly wrong, the gang from The Biggest Little City are put in charge and must save the day. had the opportunity to talk to those officers in a press conference; here's part four of what they had to say:

RELATED: Reno 911! Is Getting a Movie Sequel


Officer Dangle, you were rubbing Officer Wiegel's back. Is there a rule against inner office dating?{@@@[email protected]@@}{@@@[email protected]@@}Lt. Jim Dangle: Oh my goodness, yes. We have strict- -

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: We actually have our own rule which is called the restraining order.

Lt. Jim Dangle: But what group of friends who work closely together don't have a couple of restraining orders against each other? We're not robots. We're not robots. We're not made of wood. We're regular people.

Deputy James Garcia: Familiarity breeds restraining orders.

Lt. Jim Dangle: It does.

Deputy Travis Junior: Yeah.

Deputy James Garcia: Sometimes familiarity breeds hepatitis C.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Yes, it does.

Clementine Johnson: Yes it does, I can speak to that.

Lt. Jim Dangle: But we mostly checked out clean this last couple months.

In your Reno cases, what incidents have been just too hot for TV?{@@@[email protected]@@}{@@@[email protected]@@}Lt. Jim Dangle: Nothing that happens in Reno would be deemed too hot for TV, (turning to Travis) would you say?

Deputy Travis Junior: Hot is not the word for Reno.

Lt. Jim Dangle: If you consider looking at someone running away and you can see their ballsack kind of bouncing back and forth between their thighs too hot for TV?

Deputy Travis Junior: Not hot. No.

Lt. Jim Dangle: That happens a lot.

Deputy Travis Junoir: Yeah.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Yeah.

Deputy James Garcia: There was a woman with three breasts but that was just frightening. That wasn't hot.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: I masturbated with an electric toothbrush but I got it caught at the top. Ow!

Lt. Jim Dangle: Yeah. Uh, that was not too hot. Let's see...

Deputy James Garcia: Not hot, no.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Not technically too hot.

Deputy Cherisa Kimball: Again, not hot, not hot.

Deputy Travis Junior: We have a morbid obesity rate in Washoe County which is now coming up on 64%.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Scary.

Deputy S. Jones: That's a big problem.

Deputy Travis Junior: Which you'd think that the amount of crystal meth in the county would cut that a little bit but somehow neck and neck.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Weirdly though the crystal meth problem is really helping our youth soccer league.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Number 1 in the county.

Lt. Jim Dangle: They are kicking ass this year.

Deputy Travis Junior: Number two in the state, man.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Do not f*ck with our youth soccer program.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Seriously, don't f*ck with them. They'll kill you.

What was the enticement to do a film version?{@@@[email protected]@@}{@@@[email protected]@@}Deputy Raineesha Williams: It wasn't that we wanted to do anything. When we first signed away our lives, it was after a night of Midori and Red Bull, ok?

Lt. Jim Dangle: Don't make decisions on Midori and Red Bull, people, don't do it.

Deputy Raineesha Williams: 'Cause you'll sign away your life and the next thing you know, baby, they got you everywhere doing everything and ain't nothin' you can do about it. Everybody gettin' paid but us.

Deputy Travis Junior: We signed these waivers. Dangle told us that we were getting 'wave runners.'

Lt. Jim Dangle: I just - I did not know what a waiver was.

Deputy Travis Junior: Jet ski is what you thought it was.

Lt. Jim Dangle: I thought it was a two-person jet ski. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't go to journalism college like all of you smarties.

So the studio came to you and got you liquored up?{@@@[email protected]@@}{@@@[email protected]@@}Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Yeah, I thought it was a handwriting contest.

Deputy Cherisa Kimball: They even gave us a whole night of karaoke.

Lt. Jim Dangle: They told us we were in a show with a different title.

Deputy Cherisa Kimball: We were in a very jovial mood. Jonesy had just done a reprise; he sang that song again so we were all misty eyed and jovial. The world was our oyster.

Deputy Travis Junior: It was for basic cable. They told us the show was 'Heroes on Patrol.'

Deputy James Garcia: That's right.

Deputy Travis Junior: They said it was going to make us look like hard working, crime fighting heroes. Then the penguin, Mr. DeVito, sitting around with Clooney and his Limoncello...

Lt. Jim Dangle: Having goblets of Limoncello -

Deputy Travis Junior: Discussing the liberal agenda said, 'Hey, we can make these hard working, red stating civil servants look like fools." That's what they did.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Let's do it and then we'll split the money and get Limoncello.

Deputy Travis Junior: Absolutely.

Deputy S. Jones: I'll be honest with you, I don't like to read and so it was there and I didn't read it and I don't even know if that's my own signature.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Well, thank G-d, because it's not our strong suit.

Deputy Clementine Johnson: If I read everything I signed, I'd never stop reading.

Deputy Raineesha Williams: Now I will tell you this. If I had my way and I could re-edit this movie into what I wanted it to be -- my cousin has one of those little editing machines -- I would get that guy who does all the scary voices in the movies, 'Seven people. They're cops and here they come.'

Lt. Jim Dangle: There's eight of us.

Deputy Travis Junior: There's actually eight of us.

Lt. Jim Dangle: I'm glad we didn't - We gotta start doing head counts.

Deputy Raineesha Williams: (with Trudy providing sound effects) You know, the girls would come in, break it down, break it down, break it down, break it down. Stop that!

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: I thought I was helping you.

Deputy Raineesha Williams: See what I'm saying? It would be a completely different movie, completely fabulous if I had my way.

Lt. Jim Dangle: So you're saying voiceover would make it seem better?

Deputy Raineesha Williams: No, I'm just saying, that guy...

Lt. Jim Dangle: No, I agree, I think you're right.

Deputy Travis Junior: There ain't seven of us, who you cuttin' Rae Rae?

Lt. Jim Dangle: Wait, who's not in it?

Deputy Raineesha Williams: Huh?

Lt. Jim Dangle: Nevermind.

Deputy Travis Junior: You said seven.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Reading's not our strong suit, math's not our strong suit.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: I'm glad we didn't have to edit it because I barely know how to work the f*cking Dell computer we have at the office now. And if we had to use one of those editing machines, I don't think there'd be a movie.

Deputy Cherisa Kimball: That might not be a bad thing.

For the female officers, what challenges do you face as a woman in law enforcement?{@@@[email protected]@@}{@@@[email protected]@@}Deputy Travis Junior: Your tits get in the way.

Deputy Raineesha Williams: Being gorgeous; we're gorgeous. Let me say, speaking for myself, when you are so beautiful, it's hard. You go to arrest somebody and the first thing, you know, normally people say, 'What did I do?' Me, they go, 'Oh my G-d, you are so pretty. What did I do?' You know, you have to answer all these questions about what kind of make-up you use, blah blah blah blah blah, and it's one note all the time.

Deputy Clementine Johnson: I get a lot of flak from the feminists saying, 'Hey, you're supposed to be portraying a strong woman and you got your whatnots bouncing out all the time.' Well, guess what? I'm claustrophobic. I can't button my shirt. I have a doctor's note. Do you want to see it? I show it, no one cares, alright? So these feminists, they're all into equal rights for all women as long as they're ugly and flat chested. Alright? I'm like a big visual tornado coming at these people and they don't know what's hittin' 'em. That makes people drop their weapons right away. You see this comin' at you, what can I say? I'm good at what I do.

Deputy Cherisa Kimball: I fully support Clemmy and Raeneesha for their beauty and I think they make a modern day Cagney and Lacey and I'll go to trial saying that.

Deputy Clementine Johnson: Thank you, gorgeous.

Deputy Cherisa Kimball: I myself have been called 'sir' several times. And that's difficult, that's awkward.

Deputy James Garcia: Doesn't mean you should make the same amount of money as a man just because of being called sir.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: And I was born with what the doctors thought was a penis; turns out it was a tail.

Lt. Jim Dangle: This is what happens when your mother is your first cousin? Third cousin.

Deputy James Garcia: Personally, I think you were hatched.

Deputy Travis Junior: First cousin.

Lt. Jim Dangle: First cousin? Oh, you used to say third. Oh dear!

How has law enforcement changed for you since 9/11?{@@@[email protected]@@}{@@@[email protected]@@}Deputy Trudy Wiegel: 2001 happened already? Oh sh*t.

Are things different with Homeland Security overseeing everything?{@@@[email protected]@@}{@@@[email protected]@@}Lt. Jim Dangle: Here's the thing for us and Reno, you know, I don't feel like we're on Al Qaeda's radar yet. I feel like we need to get a publicist or something to present all of the thing- - we have a lot of things that go against what the Taliban and those guys believe in. I mean, we're really... We've got legalized prostitution, we got gambling...

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: We have 2 Applebees.

Lt. Jim Dangle: We've got the Bowling Hall of Fame. A lot of those things don't go down so good with the Al Qaeda types. But I don't even think that we're on their radar.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Nothing Osama hates more than Applebees.

Deputy James Garcia: I don't think Reno even has 72 virgins. They're all sluts in Reno. So don't look there, Al Qaeda.

Do you have any plans to return to Miami?{@@@[email protected]@@}{@@@[email protected]@@}Deputy Travis Junior: It's real expensive there. We looked around while we were there because we loved the place. We figured if we were going to get a one bedroom apartment there, the eight of us would have to find an additional eight roommates and probably deal cocaine just to pay the rent.

Lt. Jim Dangle: And this is not even that close to the beach.

Deputy Travis Junior: No. They made it real clear they didn't want us back even though we saved the city. They actually gave us the keys to Jacksonville, Florida.

Lt. Jim Dangle: That's a haul.

Deputy Travis Junior: Yeah, that's a hell of a haul.

Deputy S. Jones: You remember Elian Gonzales, the little Cuban boy? The U.S. wanted him and Cuba wanted him. We're kind of in the opposite way. Reno doesn't want us and Miami won't take us so we're going to be stuck here I think.

Deputy James Garcia: They're actually going to have that party when Castro dies, they're going to throw a big party at the Miami Superdome or whatever. They're gonna do the same thing. They did the same thing when we left. They had that big old celebration. They don't want us back, so.

In the movie there are credits for directors and writers; how did they interface with you guys?{@@@[email protected]@@}{@@@[email protected]@@}Lt. Jim Dangle: Those Hollywood phonies? We don't hear that much from those Hollywood phony types.

Deputy Travis Junior: No, Hollywood, high-fallutin, I'll say it, Jews. With their agenda. They press their agenda and whoever directed that movie can't direct traffic. And for the record, we, as law enforcement officers, can direct traffic.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: That's not true; I'm legally color blind so they told me -

Deputy Travis Junior: Well, everybody but Trudy.

Lt. Jim Dangle: Everybody but Trudy; this is why we usually don't give you a microphone.

Reno 911: Miami hits theaters February 23rd; it's rated R.