Hey there kids. Brian Gallagher here with a look at all the news that wasn't exactly fit for print over the past seven days. There's a lot to get to this week, so lets get things started with a cross-eyed opossum who will predict the Oscar winners.

Heidi the Cross-Eyed Opossum Will Predict The Winners of The 83rd Annual Academy Awards - via BBC

You may have recalled that during last year's World Cup soccer tournament last year, that a German octopus named Paul became a media sensation by correctly predicting the outcome of all seven of Germany's World Cup matches plus the final between Spain and The Netherlands. It seems that Germany is a breeding ground for animals who make predictions as Heidi the Cross-Eyed Opossum will be predicting the results of The 83rd Annual Academy Awards next weekend. Here's a recent photo of the animal below.

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Heidi the Cross-eyed Opossum

It seems that ABC has hired Heidi to make Oscar night predictions and the opossum will appear on Jimmy Kimmel Live after the Oscars. It is said that the critter won't leave Germany, though, as her predictions will be filmed in Germany and used during ABC's Oscar night coverage. I'm guessing they will show these predictions during the pre-show.

Heidi the cross-eyed opossum has a global Facebook page with over 300,000 fans, and I'm not sure why. Details weren't given on how Heidi will "predict" the Oscar winners, but I'm fairly certain that it will be incredibly dumb.

Remember the "hit" sitcom Family Matters? Yeah, I barely do too, but the one thing most remember about the show is Jaleel White playing the lovable doofus Urkel. Well, Jaleel White is back, and what better way to come back than to spoof a movie the critics seemingly love to hate, Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son. Jaleel White appears in the latest installment of Funny or Die's Can't Wait For the Movies series, where these two dudes make their own versions of upcoming flicks. This time, instead of Martin Lawrence and Brandon T. Jackson, we get Jaleel White and Lamorne Morris, an actor who you can see on practically every commercial on television these days. Seriously, that dude is everywhere. Anyway, check out their version of Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son below.

Judging from the awful TV spots and the critical consensus, I believe it's a fairly safe bet that you'll laugh more from this short video than the entire runtime of Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son. You can pay to find out, but why do that when you can watch this for free?

Last weekend, Justin Bieber's 3D concert movie Justin Bieber: Never Say Never opened in theaters. This week, Bieber freaks got to see their idol appear on the new episode of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation... and they got to see him die as he's riddled by police gunfire. How's that for a week of ups and downs, eh? Anyway, the Biebs plays Jason McCann on the CBS show, a baddie who already killed a cop, so the Canadian pop star's character certainly had it coming. Check out the death scene below.

You can also CLICK HERE for a behind-the-scenes glimpse at Justin Bieber's's appearance on the show, which was his second time portraying Jason McCann. It looks like there won't be a third time, though...

Twilight Lunacy: Teen Files Fake Police Report After "Biting Attack" - via The Huffington Post

In not-so-shocking news, people continue to do stupid things which are inspired by the Twilight series. The latest incident involves a 15-year-old girl who filed a police report in Marathon, Florida, claiming she was attacked and bitten while she was out jogging. The Monroe County Sherrif's Office discovered, after punching some holes in the girl's story, that the girl, whose name wasn't disclosed, filed the report to cover up a "fantasy biting" session with a 19-year-old male, which was inspired by Twilight.

The girl made the false report because she was worried her mother would see the bite marks, so she covered her tracks by making the bogus claim to cops. It seems the 19-year-old also had bite marks on his body from his 19-year-old fiancee, another die-hard Twi-hard fanatic. Neither of the 19-year-olds knew the girl made the false police report.

People, stop being idiots and biting each other. You won't turn into lovelorn vampires. You'll just turn into bigger idiots. You can CLICK HERE to read the Monroe County Sherrif's blog post about the incident.

James Franco Asks Judd Apatow For Advice on Hosting the Oscars - via Funny or Die

James Franco will be hosting The 83rd Annual Academy Awards a week from today, with the lovely Anne Hathaway, and it seems that James Franco sought some advice from comedy director Judd Apatow. Click on the video player below to watch the actor and director's Skype session.

In case you don't recall, James Franco appeared in the fantastic TV series Freaks and Geeks, which Judd Apatow wrote for and produced. It will be interesting to see what jokes James Franco actually will tell at the Oscars this weekend. I wonder if he'll come out with a bloody arm at one point...

Well, that's about all I have for this week's edition of The Sunday Funnies. If you have any suggestions of articles/crazy stuff you'd like to see made fun of on future installments of Sunday Funnies, you can post on my wall here at MovieWeb: movieweb.com/u/gallagher OR follow me on Twitter @GallagherMW to send me funny links or chat about movies or whatever strikes your fancy. Peace in. Gallagher out!