Another seven days has come and gone and has brought us a fresh batch of movie news, box office info, new official websites for upcoming movies and new trailers. So lets get this shindig started with this week's Notables.

NOTABLES

"Crispin Glover Is The I Scream Man" - Monday, April 23:

This sounds like something that should've come out in the 80s alongside flicks like Chopping Mall or something, and Crispin Glover attached as the title character only reenforces that notion. Hey you, get your damn hands off that ice cream cone... Anyway, Crispin can play the creepy guy fairly well, but this just sounds so damn cheesy. The oddball cast of Tom Sizemore, Haylie Duff and horror guru George A. Romero doing a cameo doesn't help matters in this flick about a tormented ice cream man who takes his rage out on a sleepy town. Blah. Worst News of the Week Nominee.

"Jason Statham Revs Up for Death Race" - Monday, April 23:

This very well could be a winner, folks. It looks like Paul W.S. Anderson is ready to let go of the whole Resident Evil thing (he wrote all three, but only directed the first) and move on, and this looks like a great one to move on with. Based on the 1975 Roger Corman cult classic, this movie sounds like a darker version of The Cannonball Run, with a New York to L.A. road race, but with a Grand Theft Auto sort of spin, where the racers actually get bonus points for killing innocent bystanders. I'm actually intrigued enough by this premise that I want to check out the orignal Corman flick, starring David Carradine and Sly Stallone, although it might be hard to find. Statham is a wonderful choice for this flick and it sounds like they're well on their way here. Best News of the Week Nominee.

"National Lampoon Acquires Electric Apricot" - Tuesday, April 24:

If you think the title is weird, take a look who wrote and directed it: Les Claypool. It's supposed to be in the vein of This is Spinal Tap, but for jam bands. Apparently this is Claypool's feature film debut as a writer and director, and it's also the first film that National Lampoon has purchased outright. Apparently the spate of movies loosely under their flag have made enough for them to actually acquire something, although I don't think this will be a good first for them. For one, there are virtually no recognizable names here, with only Claypool, Seth Green and South Park co-creator Matt Stone appearing in some capacity. For two, well, it's about jam bands. This will probably turn into some weird hippie cult classic like Beyond the Valley of the Dolls or something, but I doubt it will make much of a financial dent, or be any damn good for that matter. Worst News of the Week Nominee.

"Michael Douglas to Star in Tragic Indifference" - Tuesday, April 24:

This sounds like another great courtroom winner and, finally, a big big win for Michael Douglas. He's been appearing in a bunch of duds since 2000, when he had two wonderful flicks come out: Traffic and Wonder Boys. Stephen Gerard has a REALLY sketchy filmography, but this just seems like such a cool story that it might even be hard to mess it up. Douglas will play an attorney who sues Ford at the behest of a Texas woman who nearly died after rolling her Explorer SUV. It sounds like Douglas and this Gerard could use a big win here, and this story just might give them one. Best News of the Week Nominee.

"Christopher Marquette to Lead an Infestation" - Thursday, April 26:

I've been down with Chris Marquette since his marvelous turn as Eli in The Girl Next Door and it seems like he's getting some great non-TV work these days. He's not starring in many of those projects though, but he is here and it sounds pretty damn good. Marquette will play a guy who finds himself in a cocoon in his office and realizes that the world is now being controlled by giant mutant insects, and stuff. A slacker by nature, he must lead other workers and rebel against the bugs. It sounds like a lot of things at once, like Starship Troopers and many others, but I really think this could be pretty good, especially with Marquette toplining. We also get a little treat in Kyle Rankin writing and directing, since I just loved his debut work, the Project Greenlight winner The Battle of Shaker Heights. Best News of the Week Nominee.

"Ernest K. Dickerson to Direct Dracula Sequel" - Thursday, April 26:

There are some very interesting variables here. For one, Dickerson doesn't exactly have the hottest filmography in the world, with a bunch of TV stuff and film flops. Screenwriter Ian Holt has an even worse filmography and, in fact, there are three Ian Holt's on IMDB and I have no idea which one this is, since they are all very small filmographies. Still, apparenlty Holt's script got the approval of the Stoker family, which hasn't happened since Bela Lugosi, so there's that. There's also the fact that this cast looks pretty damn snazzy with Javier Bardem as Dracula, John Hurt as Professor Van Helsing and Monica Belluci as Lucy. Also, this is to take place 25 years after the 1992 Francis Ford Coppola flick and will feature all four of those aforementioned actors in a big ol' showdown. I know I probably shouldn't be, but I'm intrigued. Best News of the Week Nominee.

"David Goyer to Direct Magneto" - Friday, April 27:

Bring on the spin-offs! Personally, I think it'd be big pimpin' if they released both this and the Wolverine spin-off back-to-back, or in the same month or some crap like that. Sure, package the spin-offs and get the buzz going. They have different crews going on each, it seems, with David Benioff scripting Wolverine and it-writer Sheldon Turner scribing Magneto and Goyer directing. No director is set for Wolvy, but damn that would rock! Anyway, to get back on point, Goyer is a marvelous choice to direct here. While he doesn't have a ton of experience at the helm, his writing resume speaks for itself, as does his ability to tell a story. While Wolverine might have more star power (for now anyway) I think this Magneto movie will be a stronger flick, with a slightly-more intriguing story and the addition of Goyer. Can't wait, folks! Best News of the Week Nominee.

BOX OFFICE CORNER

This is never normally a powerful weekend at the box office, but damn. Disturbia closed out the month of April with a hat-trick, taking the number one spot for the third time in as many weeks. The Shia LaBeouf thriller has owned the top spot for each week it's been in release. While that normally would be fairly impressive, it mainly acheived this because its competition was so much more less impressive. Disturbia chimed in at the top spot with just over $9 million. That performance for that movie really wasn't that bad, as it dropped just 30.6% from last weekend, but it's just sad that the newcomers couldn't even come close to hitting an 8-figure mark.

The top two newbies were quite close together at the second and third spots, even though their grosses were attrocious. The Invisible and Next were almost neck-and-neck in the silver and bronze spots, taking in $7.7 million and $7.1 million, respectively. Both posted very low per-screen averages as well, with The Invisible, showing in just 2,019 theaters, taking in $3,882 per screen and Next, bowing in 2,725 theaters, averaging a paltry $2,617 per screen. Both clunked out with the critics too, with Invisible garnering a 21% "Fresh" rating and Next with a 27% "Fresh" rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Terrible. But wait, it gets worse.

The Condemned turned in a 9th place finish in its debut weekend, taking in just $3.8 million. It received a semi-decent rollout of 2,310, which surprised me, but could only muster a wretched $1,648 per-screen average. Don't quit your day job quite yet Stone Cold. Oh wait... And, lastly we have Kickin' It Old Skool which debuted out of the top 10 in 12th place, grossing just $2.5 million from an 1,816 theater count, good for a stinky per-screen average of $1,399. Hey, Stone Cold and Jamie Kennedy. I'm sure everyone was just saving their strength and money for Spidey 3 next weekend. I'm sure it had nothing to do with your movies at all...

GOING LIVE

It must've been an off week for webmasters or something. I couldn't find a single official website that went live this week. Hopefully we'll have a bunch next week!

TRAILER PARK

Umm OK. I guess the Video section has some bugs or something because I can't bring up the trailer page. I guess this is The Week in Review Lite this week...

BEST NEWS OF THE WEEK

Lots of goodies to pick from this week, but I'm going with Jason Statham getting his Death Race on. I'm a big Jason Statham fan and, although he doesn't always pick his projects prudently, it looks like he has a home run here. I'm also interested in seeing what Paul W.S. Anderson can do outside of the sci-fi genre and this Cannonball Run-meets-Grand Theft Auto deal sounds like it could be a really slick flick.

WORST NEWS OF THE WEEK

Not much on the negative side, but I'm going with Crispin Glover and the corniest title in quite some time for my Worst News of the Week. Damn. I hadn't even known that Crispin Glover was still alive, really. He hasn't really done jack since Willard, but it looks like he has two fairly big releases primed for late this year, toplining The Wizard of Gore and playing Grendel in November's Beowulf. Now it looks like he's setting up for failure after possibly getting some decent cred again with this lame I Scream Man. What does he do in this one? A kid rolls up to him and asks him for a sno-cone and he chops his head off? Quaint. Sorry Crispin. I'll watch those first two movies of yours I mentioned earlier, but it seems that three times will definitely NOT be the charm.

That's all, sadly, for this week, folks. I should have a big fat column up for you next week with all the trimmings of box office goodies (and there should be a LOT of those...), new official sites for upcoming flicks and new trailers. Take care folks and, always remember: if it looks like a good time, sounds like a good time and feels like a good time... it probably isn't free. Gallagher out!