Paranormal Activity? Whoop-doo! (You will find an exclusive Paranormal Activity theme song at the end of this document!)

It's Halloween again. And October's usually a month reserved for a phenomenon known as The Saw Franchise. While it's never been scary, per se, it's always offered up a nice bit of cringe worthy gore for the horror hungry masses. After VI years, this series continues to be on the cutting edge of the procedural drama. Its an episodic CSI for the big screen, and while its proven to be entertaining over the years, its become quite removed from the actual Halloween holiday itself.

Halloween is supposed to be a spook-a-boo time for creeping scares. There's nothing truly frightening about Jigsaw anymore. He's old hat. Seriously, its just some dead dude with a tape recorder pumping out Saturday Afternoon PSAs from beyond the grave. Yawn. So its no wonder that an entire nation has become enraptured with a new tiny twisty known as Paranormal Activity. Its being hyped beyond the Cinerama Dome, and thrust into the stratosphere with a tinge of true greatness usually reserved for prestige pictures. Why? Because it is scary. Very scary. Creepy old pervert waiting in your bed at night scary. It recently made a mess of the box office, performing beyond expectations at a handful of midnight screenings. Paramount even used the Demand It service to gauge where they should stick it next. Guess what? Over a million people and counting Demanded It, and now it's getting a proper wide release on October 23rd, with a limited rollout across the country today.

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Everybody and their mother wants to tell me about the film. I haven't seen this type of enthusiasm since my brother reenacted the entire first act of Grease in the front seat of my Grandmother's Oldsmobile way back in 1978. Talking about it brings people closer to the experience, I guess. Oren Peli's ode to Night Terrors is a communal exercise in raw terror. Bad sleep: Its something everyone has struggled with in the past. Peli's crafty homemade megabuzz deals directly with The Unknown, and that shit creeps people the fuck out.

I didn't realize how impactful the film was until it started easing its way into our daily celebrity interviews. Five minutes ago, we spoke with Fred Dekker, director of the true cult classics The Monster Squad and Night of the Creeps. Even he couldn't keep himself from talking about this new Halloween sensation. Having denounced horror films, he trembled under the weight of its awesomeness, "I recently saw Paranormal Activity. I thought it was absolutely terrific! I am a really big fan of filmmakers who don't wait around to get through the studio system. They go out and make a little movie in the woods. This was literally made in this guy's house with just three characters. I really, really admire that." He's not the only quasi-celebrity chatting up the film like it's a Christian Revelation. Paramount recently sent over a document containing Tweetimonials from various different famous faces. Though they've been repackaged and reprinted on many sites over the last couple days, I have included some of the funnier ones here, as well as a few new ones found this morning, for your reading pleasure:

Tyrese Gibson: Everyone listen to me, Ok? Paranormal Activity is the scariest shit I've ever seen in my life. Where's my bible? It was so scary I just walked home in the rain. Cause I didn't want to be in any enclosed areas. Holy shit! Scary shit in the rain! I had a nightmare, damn it! Oh, shit! I think someone is in my house.

Barack Obama: Scary ghosts! I felt like Mantan Moreland watching Paranormal Activity! Scarier than the recession!

Jason Reitman:Paranormal Activity is the real deal. Trust me. Still freaking out after the Paranormal Activity screening. How dare you! Foot rub? Tampon? Paranormal Activity + Nyquil = Nyghtmares...Still recovering. Fuck Paranormal Activity was scary. Freaked out my whole gang. Felt bad for the folks who went home alone. Keeping my MagLight near the bed.

Ray Parker Junior: I am afraid of these ghosts!

Roger Ebert: Low budget, no fancy f/x, but it's surprising how scary Paranormal Activity is. I almost screamed and I can't even speak.

Oran "Juice" Jones: I saw Tyrese walking in the rain...And he was scairt! Paranormal Activity is sooooo scary, its lucky I don't rush up on it and flatblast the boffyas! Paranormal Activity done give my girl a toothache, and its dat time ahduh munt. What's a brother suppose datdah? Going back there is scarier than Paranormal Activity. It's like seeing shit on my dick in the dark.

The list goes on and on. Well, the one person notably absent from all of this Paranormal Activity hoopla is our own resident scary man Spooker Washington. He saw the film, and was a little disappointed in its lack of music. Every great horror movie needs a stirring piece of theme music. An iconic spangle strum of melodic piano noise followed by a crashing crescendo that would make you shit your pants. Either that, or a catchy little ditty played over end credits to take the edge of your nerves. Oren didn't have very much money to create this awesome little piece of film magic. Nor did he have the resources to hire an orchestra. So Spooker Washington, drawing on his own experience with Night Terrors, has created a theme song for Oren and his film, which he is gladly donating to the production out of his own pocket. Here, today, in honor of Paranormal Activity finding a 2000+ screen wide release, we exclusively debut "Night Terrors (Theme from Paranormal Activity)".

Spooker Washington

Night Terrors (Theme from Paranormal Activity)

Eat food! Kill grandma! Go see Oren Peli's Paranormal Activity this Halloween! Whoop-doo!

Cinemark Movie Club
B. Alan Orange