Waiting is Hell

There's still a lot going on down in Development Hell, but the frenzy seems to have died down just a bit. I think most of them snuck out to see Spider-Man or to wait in line for Episode II! In the meantime, a few of the imps are running around with some interesting, if sometimes doubtful, rumors and a few spots of big news!

Stax over at FilmForce does some interesting speculation about a recent Tom Hanks/Ron Howard meeting. This is not a rumor, but some pretty shrewd guesswork on his part. His thoughts are that Hanks might be taking the role of Davy Crockett in Howard's upcoming feature, The Alamo. Check out his article for some other interesting thoughts!

They really need to add a Game Adaption Hell down here. Coming Soon tells that the Zelda game series wants to move in down here. What the heck, give ‘em a broom closet!

For some odd reason Dreamworks wants to develop Space Monkeys as an all CG effort. The story centers on primates used in the space program of the 1950's.

Fresh off co-writing Attack of the Clones, Jonathan Hales has sold a pitch for Crusader to Disney. No, this is not the previously rumored Swartzenegger or Cameron projects but a new story concerning alien brothers battling each other for control of a kingdom.

It looks like Legion has gotten a director: Gregory Dark. Legion is described as a Road Warrior type film – with demons. Perhaps the guys down here can get a little film time. Hey, you didn't think it was all special effects, did you?

Your gonna love this one! Disney has acquired a spec script entitled Snow and the Seven. Apparently, this is some kind of horrible collision between Snow White and the Hong Kong martial arts action movies. I hope they keep the dwarves names for the monks. Should be good for a high unintentional comedy rating...

Finally! Things are starting to heat up for Orson Scott Card's Ender's Game. Fresco Pictures reports that they've signed with a major studio and have settled on a detailed story line combining the events from two novels: Ender's Game and

Ender's Shadow. Look for more on this soon.

Dark Horizons brings us info on two other novel adaptions. It looks like Gene Hackman and Dustin Hoffman are close to signing on to John Grisham's The Runaway Jury. And shooting has been scheduled for October in Namibia on the adaption of the Clive Cusslers Sahara. You might remember Cusslers other novel adaption, Raise the Titanic – which promptly re-sank at the box office.

Comic Adaption Hell:

FilmForce found out that Own Wilson will be starring opposite Ashley Judd in the long-in-development project Catwoman. What can I say? The devils just love a girl in tight black leather – they'll let her out eventually...P>

One of the sillier, but inevitable, rumors floating around is that Vin Diesel is going to suit up for a big screen version of The Flash. Say it ain't so, Vin!

The Sci-Fi Channel has the news that Bruce Willis's production company has picked up Femizons which is based on some obscure Stan Lee short comic's from the 70's. No word on Willis starring, but they claim it's going to be a big-budget, Stargate like project. Scary, huh?

Also, keep an eye out for Inferno, based on the Top Cow comics. Sure to be a crowd pleaser down here!

Remake Hell:

In typical Hollywood fashion, Paramount and Cruise/Wagner productions are looking to bring yet another version of The War of the Worlds to the big screen. No mention was made of the Pendragon version of the same property.

Variety reports that David Fincher is in talks to remake The Reincarnation of Peter Proud. Of course, Fincher is rumored to be attached to something like twelve movies right now, so I wouldn't count on this one. We do know he's signed for MI3, with the intriguing, but creepy concept of dealing with the body part trade in Africa.

Sequel Hell:

It looks like XXX2 is already in the works, with Vin Diesel already committed to a sequel. Could they be thinking franchise here? Duh!

It seems that we might be forced to sit through yet another Blair Witch sequel. The original developers are returning in the hope of saving the franchise. Can you even have a franchise when only one movie made money? Hopefully, this one wont make it out of intensive care.

Look for Spider-Man 2 to swing into theaters on May 7, 2004. I don't think their going to be spending too much time down here!

Dark Horizons reports that Cinemaxx, a German TV show, has a rumor (or rumour, as they put it) that Spielberg himself might be writing the next Jurassic Park.

It looks like Jolie gets to keep her Job for Tomb Raider 2 (did you every doubt it?) It seems that she wants to train with famed Canadian troup Cirque du Soliel for some kind of James Bond-like underwater stunts. Other rumors say that Jan De Bont is being sought to direct the inevitable sequel. One hopes a decent script will be on their list...

TV and TV Adaption Hell:

Coming Soon brings us the sad, but inevitable, news that none other than Michael Mann is adapting Miami Vice for the big screen. Maybe it can go head to head with Starsky and Hutch.

Pitch-Fork That! Later! ~Lee

Brian B.