Welcome to your weekly movie horoscope with Madame Millie Kilakilarney. She will point you in the direction of the films you need to watch this week according to the astrological charts she keeps on her bedroom wall. If it's in the stars or on the silver screen, she knows about it!

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

Aries (March 21st-April 19th): Your mind, body, and soul seem to be connected in a powerful triangle of soul searing conductivity. This means you'll experience above average hand-eye coordination. You will be able to deflect any oncoming meanness from protracted co-workers seeking to do you in. Or cause you harm. You may feel a new want and need for community. Put your skills to use by joining a local recreational team. Nothing to exertive. Try handball, or maybe immerse yourself in the world of extreme Dodgeball. You'll be happy you did. Your film of the week: Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story [WS] [2 Discs]

Taurus (April 20th-May 20th): Does your life feel like it's on a horse track? Do you feel like people are betting on your abilities to achieve stability? Do you feel like you never slow down? Well, get used to it Mr. Taurus. This week, things are really going to ramp up. And there's not a moment left for sloughing off or taking a nap. You're on a fast moving carousel, and the carnie has no intentions of pulling that stop lever anytime soon. You are going to feel a heavy weight on your back, and both of your arms are going to be full of groceries. Its non-stop madness. The best thing you can do is put your head down and go. Run fast, be the first one out of the gate. And you'll be the first one at the finish line. Only then will you be able to rest. Your film of the week: Seabiscuit [2 Discs]

Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist

Gemini (May 21st-June 21st): If you've ever needed a friend's help in completing a project, now is the time to ask. There are many individuals surrounding your inner circle that would like to donate their time and energy to your interests. Put the word out. Staple it on the wall, or send it through the Penny Saver. Unexpected bonds and relationships may form from this uneven energy. While the task at hand might seem like the most important aspect, it's actually the lifelong ties that will test the weight of you're your time spent on earth. Your one goal can unite many people. It's your own imagination that will kick start this wheel of fate. Your film of the week: Zack and Miri Make a Porno [2 Discs]

Cancer (June 22nd-July 22nd): New is the flavor of the week. As you head out the door and into the world you will notice something strange. Everyone has swapped places. You will encounter a new boss, a new friend, and maybe even a new lover. But will you be able to keep up with all of these changes? Be cautious and keep your guard up. These new people in your life are going to ask you for help. It seems you are the only one capable of making certain dreams come true. Just because you don't have life ties with these individuals doesn't mean you shouldn't give it your all. They might come to mean more to you then you think. Your film of the week: Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist [WS]

Private Valentine: Blonde and Dangerous

Leo (July 23rd-August 22nd): Leo, you are the great storyteller. And it is your duty this week to keep those around you entertained. Spirits are low, and the current mindset is generally depressed. Regal your peers with tales worse than that which they suffer. It may just open their eyes to the hidden possibilities that surround them. You are the great motivator. Get your co-workers back on their feet and keep them moving. This is certainly the best way for you to stimulate the economy. Give of yourself, and others will gratefully give back. Your film of the week: Nite Tales

Virgo (August 23rd-September 22nd): Are you feeling the need for a career change? Well, today could be the day to start looking for something new. Though you have excelled in your current state of class and arrangement, there is more to you than meets the eye. Are you up for the challenge? Stop being so hypercritical of yourself, and a million new worlds will open up. Put away those old toys and make room for something new. Though wages may not be satisfactory at first, your future compensation will be enough to keep you motivated. It's now or never, honey. Do it! Your film of the week: Private Valentine: Blonde and Dangerous [WS]

Space Buddies

Libra (September 23rd-October 23rd): This week is all about family. And you are the ringleader. Your brothers and sisters will seek you out for guidance and thoughtful conversation. If a problem arises, it is going to take all of you to reach that final solution. Its called teamwork, and you will repair all of the bonds that were broken in the past. Forgive your siblings as they have forgiven you, and all shall come to pass. Heck, your joint efforts might even save the world. Your film of the week: Space Buddies

Scorpio (October 24th-November 21): This sure is excellent weather we are having. Why aren't you outside enjoying it? Put that pen and paper down. Step away from the fax machine, and throw out that day old coffee. The wilderness is crying out your name. Go, run free with the bees and pick a couple of flowers. Roll around in the grass. Maybe even rent a jet ski. Your work can wait. You need to exhale, and maybe even become one with the bright blue sky. This sunshine in the winter is all the medicine needed to heal your soul. You work too hard. Take advantage of the freedom that awaits you on the other side of that window. Go! Get out of here! Your film of the week: The Great Outdoors

Eddie and the Cruisers/Eddie and the Cruisers 2: Eddie Lives

Sagittarius (November 22nd-December 21st): If you've ever felt like making music, now is the time. Go to the pawnshop and pick up a guitar. Try your lips at that old tuba. Or simply make music the old fashion way: With Love! There are plenty of instruments at your disposal. And the sounds your fingers are capable of banging out could create a symphony of joy regaled by others. Even if you've never had a lesson in your life, you still have the rhythm and beat. Try it out. Strum or hum to your heart's content. No one is going to be any worse for it. And everyone knows the words to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Your film of the week: Eddie and the Cruisers/Eddie and the Cruisers 2: Eddie Lives

Capricorn (December 22nd-January 19th): Are you feeling lonely? Maybe a little too self-critical? Well, keep your chin up. Sooner than later, a very mysterious stranger is going to walk into your life. And they will have the answer to your problems. Is it love you seek? This could be your week for shocking revelations. There is someone close to you carrying a heavy-duty crush. Do you think you can pull yourself away from the mirror long enough to figure out who it is? They aren't going to come to you first. You are going to have to find them. When and if you do complete this task, your whole world is going to be turned upside down. I just hope you're ready to have some fun for a change. Your film of the week: Noah's Arc: Jumping the Broom [WS]

The Fly

Aquarius (January 20th-February 18th): Are you afraid of what you could become if you keep trouncing down this tortured path? Do you feel something changing inside you? Is there a monster waiting to get out? Silly Aquarius! Eating nachos before bed again, I see. You have nothing to fear this week, as everything will continue on its mundane path. Just as it has been for the last couple of weeks. Sit there and be patient. Please? Something exciting is headed your way soon. But now is not the time to seek outside amusement or self changes. Hold tight, kiddo. Have a cocktail. Your film of the week: Fly [1958]/The Fly [1986] [Collector's Edition]

Pisces (February 19th-March 20th): There are many things you can do to get in tune with our great planet. Water the lawn, climb a tree, fly a kite, or take a dip in the nearby pond. All these wonderful activities offer the sanctity and awesomeness of this great place we call earth. Before you jump on some environmentalist's bandwagon, why don't you reinstate your roots with the terra firma under your own feet? You might feel pressured to clean up your act this week, but really, maybe those doing the asking should take a look at their own lives. And the way they are living. You, Pisces, are a fish. You are one with nature, and you certainly don't need to be told what to do. Reestablish your grounding, and maybe you can lead the weak or poor of thought. Do what you can, just don't over do it. No one likes a show off. Your film of the week: 11th Hour

(Remember, all of these movies can be purchased directly from us using the links provided!)

B. Alan Orange at Movieweb
B. Alan Orange