Welcome to your weekly movie horoscope with Madame Millie Kilakilarney. She will point you in the direction of the films you need to watch this week according to the astrological charts she keeps on her bedroom wall. If it's in the stars or on the silver screen, she knows about it!

My Name is Bruce

Aries (March 21st-April 19th): Don't take the criticism that others are so willing to heap upon you. Your idealized self is vastly different from what the public sees on a day-to-day basis. Sometimes, you have to give them what they want. But right now is the time to focus on your own well-being. Be kind to you, and it could disrupt this steady flow of negativity that seems to be piling up on your doorstep. Once you can truly help yourself, only then can you start helping others. Just don't hide behind this mask of false identity starngers have set up for you. It will cripple you're generosity in the long run. Your film of the week: My Name Is Bruce

Taurus (April 20th-May 20th): Are people getting the best of you? Do you feel like your community is being too strict? Are you having a hard time keeping up with the Jones? Well, guess what? You are not alone. Everyone is feeling a little less like themselves these days. The community asks too much of us all, but for some reason, Taurus, they are especially centered on you. Your mistakes make for great comedy. And this urges those around you to set your idolized persona up for failure. Don't give in. Stay true to yourself. Eventually, they will get it. You're a good man, Charlie Brown. Now act like one. Your film of the week: W. [WS]

Soul Men

Gemini (May 21st-June 21st): A great series of arguments are bound to rise up this week. Get to the root of the problem fast. Solve those issues at hand, for they may stand in the way of you creating some truly great art. Has a partnership soured? Do you feel like you're being taken advantage of by your loved ones? Well, nip that stinky business in the bud. Talk it out, and resolve the nastiest of it before it goes flying out the window. Truly great friendships only come along once in a great while. Don't blow it now. All that hard work could wind up in the garbage can behind your neighbor's house. Your film of the week: Soul Men

Cancer (June 22nd-July 22nd): Look at you, Ms. New Idea. You are about to experience an imagination overload. Far too many great innovations will flood into your mind, and render you an important player on the job circuit. Will you be able to handle all of these fresh thoughts? Or will they send you into mind melt mode? It's hard to say. The best thing you can do is get a pen and a notepad. Write it down, get it out of your head, and then make it come to life. The only thing that is stopping you from realizing these crazy new schemes is you. Don't be a victim of self-doubt. Your film of the week is: Workshop

Nights in Rodanthe

Leo (July 23rd-August 22nd): Hey, hot stuff, are you ready for some passionate nights of pleasure? Well, strap yourself in because you are going to meet the man of your dreams sometime this week. And you better be ready. Shake away any poor self-loathing you may be harboring and jump on the nearest bus. It is guaranteed to take you to your next romantic endeavor. Don't be too quick to out that certain person you've had your eye on. The one you seek is well hidden behind layers of emotional depth. Get yourself a hammer and chisel away at that rough exterior. You might just find a masterpiece hiding behind that certain nerd at the local video store. Your film of the week: Nights in Rodanthe

Virgo (August 23rd-September 22nd): Can you keep a secret? You may need to hide important information in regards to your job this week. Someone above your boss could ask you to help out in a covert operation. You will need to concentrate and stay focused. You might find it helpful to inform your other coworkers about this task, but that will only hurt you in the long run. Keep your head down, do as you're told, and don't let those loose lips get the best of you. You're mission is an important one. Don't get hurt. But more importantly, don't let others get hurt. It could cost you a career. Your film of the week: Miracle at St. Anna


Libra (September 23rd-October 23rd): Turning a blind eye to the problems that surround you this week might sound like a good idea. But really, no one's ever benefited from ignoring the daily problems that arise. If you didn't take the trash out, you'd be living in filth. If you didn't wash the dishes, you'd have nothing to eat on. The same thing goes for your job. If your boss is doing something wrong, it will affect you. If your coworker is pulling a scam, its best to let one of your superiors know. Messy paperwork now could lead to an even bigger headache down the road. Your film of the week: Blindness

Scorpio (October 24th-November 21): This is the best shape you've ever been in. Your mind and body are working well together, and co-workers will see you as a well-oiled machine. Sure, there are those that have doubted you in the past, but do you blame them? You've had a tendency to screw up important tasks. Not to worry, though. Those days are long behind you. Get ready to embrace a new period of strength and courage. You are the one that everyone wants. Give them your best shot. Your film of the week: Chocolate

Chocolate Honey Butts

Sagittarius (November 22nd-December 21st): Be weary of strangers this week, Sagittarius. There are a lot of bad elements starting to surround you. Placing your trust on the untested waters of your current social pool will prove to be a dreadful experience. If you need help with work or a long-standing hobby, it is best to seek out friends and family. If you meet someone new, be courteous and thoughtful. Just don't put too much thought into their seeming words of wisdom. They do not know what is best for you. Your film of the week: Lodger

Capricorn (December 22nd-January 19th): You will have an overwhelming sense of caring this week. Be warned, Capricorn, your usually romantic inclinations will be overpowered by the need to give of yourself in just about every avenue of life. Friendships are strong, but those friendly lunches might soon turn into candlelight dinners. If you are determined to make your relationships work, this is the time to put in that much needed push of extra energy. Do unto others as you'd have done to yourself, and a whole world of possibilities will open up. Your film of the week: Chocolate Honey Butts

Street Fighter

Aquarius (January 20th-February 18th): There's a lot of crap about to be shoved upon you, but not to worry! This week is the week to get it all done. You will be able to defeat your opponents and excel in areas you thought impossible. Its time for you to put up a good fight. Losers aren't lucky in love, and neither are you. That's why you have to turn everything around and become a winner. It's in your chest. And your arms. And your legs. Gesh, do you think you've been working out for nothing, Aquarius? Put all of those new skills to use, and beat back your demons. People genuinely want to see you succeed. Don't let them down. Your film of the week: Street Fighter [Extreme Edition]

Pisces (February 19th-March 20th): If you've ever considered getting a pet, right now may be the best time. Your soul is open to caring for someone other than yourself. And you just might need the companionship. Loneliness is a social disease, and there is a cure. So lift your head out of the clouds, Pisces. Take a part of yourself and start giving it away in the form of hugs and kisses. There are a lot of animals out there that need love and attention. Seriously, you're not just going to let your future pet get euthanized at the local pound, are you? The special bonds you form now could last a lifetime. Your film of the week: That Darn Cat

(Remember, all of these movies can be purchased directly from us using the links provided!)

B. Alan Orange at Movieweb
B. Alan Orange