Welcome to your weekly movie horoscope with Madame Millie Kilakilarney. She will point you in the direction of the films you need to watch this week according to the astrological charts she keeps on her bedroom wall. If it's in the stars or on the silver screen, she knows about it!

Mystery DateAries (March 21st-April 19th): Things are slowing down in your life. Don't worry; it's only the natural progression of things. Take it easy and relax. There will be time for you to finish all of your self-imposed choirs in the very near future. What you need to do is rediscover your enthusiasm for whatever moves you in this existence. Take a moment and really think about those things that matter to you the most. And then make a plan. Carry it out. Become a better person. It is well within your grasp, Aries! You can do it. Your film of the week: How Stella Got Her Groove Back

Taurus (April 20th-May 20th): Listen up, all you Taurus men! Romance is in full swing this week. Its time to grab the bull by the horns and actually seek out that partner you've been so afraid to approach. Ears are open and willing to hear you out. If you can come up with the perfect date, you might just find yourself going on it with the love crush of your dreams. Adventure and excitement are waiting around the corner, but move fast. Others have a similar eye for what you find attractive. Pull that golden lever before someone else beats you to the punch. Resting now could mean plenty of alone time in the near future. Buddy, you've got to strike while the iron is hot! Your film of the week: Mystery Date

Nightmare on Elm StreetGemini (May 21st-June 21st): Whoa, look at you riding a wave of unbridled self-confidence. Be careful, you might slip off that self-made board and fall face first into one of the worst wipeouts ever experienced. You are giving yourself way too much credit, and important work may get lost because of it. You are not as great and powerful as you might think. Others are eager to out your insecurities and hoist you from your role of leadership. So stop acting so grand. You are not the almighty. And when you abuse your power, others will do whatever it takes to see you knocked down a notch or two. Your film of the week: The Wizard of Oz

Cancer (June 22nd-July 22nd): You may have trouble sleeping this week. Unforeseen encounters with a stranger may lead to a series of bad dreams and night terrors that you are not emotionally capable of dealing with. It is best not to eat anything unhealthy right before your bedtime. And make sure you don't dwell on the scarier things in life. Basically, don't let your nightmares get the best of you. You can overcome whatever evils are plaguing your subconscious this week. Just don't feed them, and make sure to deny them sustenance. Your film of the week: A Nightmare on Elm Street

BarflyLeo (July 23rd-August 22nd): You, Miss, need balance in your life. And that balance is only going to come from hard work and an understanding of why you are moving towards certain goals. This week you may be asked to take a long, hard look at what you are doing with your time on earth. Make sure you weed out all of the invariable influences that may be shedding unnecessary hairs on your performance driven goals. Pull your head out of the gutter and stop accepting those that often challenge you to a fight. You need fuel. And you need more of a street smart education in the way things work here in the real world. Stop dousing your dreams in unhealthy substances and you might just produce a masterwork of genius. Your film of the week: Barfly

Virgo (August 23rd-September 22nd): Are strange thought patterns starting to form within your mind? Do you see goals being accomplished from an outside influence that might terrorize others? This week, you might find yourself compelled to stand behind a source of evil that others aren't able to comprehend. Do not stand in the shade of this darkness for too long, it may encompass and eat your soul alive. Be careful where you commit your skin, you might find yourself at the bottom of a very deep hole. Don't accept candy from strangers. Even though they might not be causing you harm, they are definitely causing someone, somewhere an awful lot of pain. Stay away from alluring sources of energy. They simply aren't good for your well-being. Your film of the week: Hellraiser: 20th Anniversary Edition

Blonde and BlonderLibra (September 23rd-October 23rd): It is time for you to take a vacation. The cold of winter has got you down, and this influx of snow is freezing your will to live. Take the focus off of summer. That is where you will do your best work. Now is the time for relaxation and inebriation. Kick back and set sail for a tropical island of your choosing. Does the economy have you down? Don't worry, there are many unforeseen paradises awaiting you in the subtext of your own workspace. Head to Party City and purchase a couple of leis and some plastic coconuts. Trust me, it will do you a world of good. Your film of the week: Club Paradise

Scorpio (October 24th-November 21): Oh, poor Scorpio. You're ability to get sidetracked this week is simply amazing. You are not a dunder head, so stop acting like one. Being a "dumb blonde" might look cute on your social resume, but in the long run, it will only cause a disservice to yourself and your career. Not to mention your on again-off again relationships. Get a book, keep it in your purse, and read it when everyone is looking. You need to stop being so stubborn and accept that you are smart. People want to know that you have the skills needed to get through any troubling times. So show them the truth. Make them eat their words. Your film of the week: Blonde and Blonder

Seems Like Old TimesSagittarius (November 22nd-December 21st): This is the week for old relationships to rear their ugly head. Those individuals thought lost in the fire of a bad break-up will suddenly be back on your personal radar. Take heed: Though the seas look to have calmed, that isn't necessarily the case. It may look like smooth sailing ahead, but old arguments long buried will only rush once again to the surface of your soul. And something inconsequential could set off a firestorm of regrettable words and actions. Do yourself a favor. Don't fall into the same old bear trap. Shake it off and be on your way. A cordial handshake is all that is needed at this time. Even an innocent peck on the cheek could lead to dire circumstances. Be careful. Your film of the week: Seems Like Old Times

Capricorn (December 22nd-January 19th): You're not afraid of no ghost, are you? Well, lets hope not Ms. Ghostbuster, because your moon has moved into the house of spirits, and I'm not talking about the alcoholic kind. Throughout this very long week, you will find yourself being terrorized by spooks that don't necessarily even know you. These ghosts are looking for peace. A peace which you cannot provide. Stay away from haunted houses and eerie buildings you've never felt compelled to visit before. A haint might get stuck in your Afro, and no one wants that. Your film of the week: White Noise [HD]

Sleeping Dogs LieAquarius (January 20th-February 18th): Both you and your lover will feel compelled to give of each other this week. This is a great time for sharing those intimate secrets you've kept buried for far to long. Let it all out. If your partner can't deal with it, then you definitely should not be together. This is the time to air any grievances or put up any stop signs. Make it known what you truly want out of life. And maybe you'll find that he wants those same exact things. Or, maybe he will flee with a mouthful of marbles. Whatever the case may be, there is no better time then the present. Accept your faults. And his. Your film of the week: Sleeping Dogs Lie

Pisces (February 19th-March 20th): You will find yourself at the center of a great debate that only you can resolve. Many detractors will try to sway your opinion, but you must keep an open mind and figure out this means to an end on your own. Sure, shrimp and golf will come from both sides of the issue, and there might not be an easy answer. But don't fall for obvious tricks. You don't need eighteen pieces of pizza in a given day. Only you know what you are thinking. It may not be what's best for those directly affected by the outcome of your decision, but then those powers that be should have never picked you as their savior in the first place. Right? Your film of the week: Swing Vote

(Remember, all of these movies can be purchased directly from us using the links provided!)

B. Alan Orange